Spirited is so awesome, I can't even handle it. She kicks most of the time she's awake and I love her energy. When I hear the drumbeat of her little heels pounding against her crib mattress, she greets me with a giant smile that just melts my heart. We do yoga and I give her massages, and whenever I put her on the floor she gets all excited because she knows what's coming. The feet start flying and her eyes light up. It's absolutely the best!
According to my pediatrician, there are two time lines for fussiness where babies can become extra gassy and bothered by reflux. Most babies are done with it by 12 weeks, others take until about 16 weeks for things to get better. Spirited is in the latter group. I still have to nurse her sitting up, but that's becoming easier as she has better trunk stability. She also has some food sensitivities I have to be careful with, or the problems start up again. I can have very limited dairy, caffeine and chocolate. I now long for a big ol' piece of chocolate cake with lots of chocolate frosting and a giant glass of whole milk!
Now that she's sort of stabilized in terms of fussiness, it's a lot easier to do things that I need/want to do. I just have to modify it to fit her schedule. I still work on putting her to sleep within 2 hours of being awake, so my trips outside of the house have to be carefully planned. She often rejects the stroller, so I put her in my MobyWrap (can't say enough good things about this wrap!!) and we cruise. I strap her to my body like a little bomb - facing out with her legs dangling. We walk down the street and she looks at everything while she kicks away. She looks hilarious. We are quite the spectacle - especially when I break out the umbrella to avoid the sun. But perhaps the biggest indication that things have gotten smoother is that I've started running again. I'm in week 4 of the Couch to 5-K program. I mostly have to go when she's already asleep, but it works!
In 12 years - when I have my next kid - I will have forgotten the bizillion soothing techniques I have learned over the past 3 months. To my future self (and anyone else who needs ideas), here are the ones that never fail:
1) the milkshake. Put one hand on baby's butt, between the legs, and the other hand either under her chin or (if she has good head control) holding her by the chest and arms. Then move the kid up and down at an angle like you are doing an old-fashioned milkshake. The arms and legs should swing freely.
2) the shower. The noise and the steam is usually an instant success. If not, add milkshake or gentle bouncing on an exercise ball.
3) bouncing on an exercise ball. You can use this for a modified milkshake if your arms get tired - put the kid in position and bounce to propel her forward. When she is more calm you can bring her down and, keeping your hand under her chin, gently wobble her head using very small movements. When she's bigger, it also works to cradle her in her arms and bounce up and down - letting her head wobble back and forth very slightly.
3) Shhh. The repeated "Shh." seems to work pretty well - another white noise thing. Spirited likes when the Shh is drawn out.
The whole goal is to recreate womb conditions and the white noise and the gentle wobbles seem to do the trick. (People do call the first 3 months the 4th trimester.) Add sucking to the mix and you've got a winning combination.
For several days, Spirited has been fighting sleep. She even fights going into the stroller because she knows it will lull her to sleep. Needless to say, this has made for a very tired mommy. I honestly didn't know what to do. I was watching her for signs that she was tired and would start soothing her and getting her ready to sleep within 2 hours of her last waking. Whenever I'd put her in my soothing position, she'd lock up and throw a fit. I just spent the last 3 months learning various soothing techniques and now none of them were working!
Because she fought through her afternoon nap, we had to put her to bed early. The past couple of nights, she went to bed at 6:30 and 5:30! Last night I took a nap not long after she went down and it made such a difference. Both of us woke up much happier. Today, I decided that I'd start to soothe her and try and get her to sleep much earlier. So far, I've been getting her ready for bed about 1 hour and 15 min after she wakes up. It's so short, but she hasn't been fighting it nearly as much and has gone down 4 times already.
Even though "high needs" is the technical term, I don't really like it and I've been feeling bad about calling my kid that. It sounds negative and resentful. This is so not the case. We'll call her "spirited." This is really more accurate. All babies have the same needs - some just need certain things more and express them louder. That is my kid.
I subscribe to the theory that if you meet these needs now, she will be a more satisfied adult. As a result, we are practicing a form of attached parenting, while trying to wean her on playing independently and going to other people. Every day we are making small steps forward. Today she was able to play on the floor while I washed dishes for 10 min!
I would have thought that this was a term used by people who were unrealistic in their expectations of babies....until I had one. Even before my daughter was born I knew we were in for a treat. The kid rarely stopped kicking. Once she was born, there was something different about her - and she was still kicking!
Part of figuring her out involved figuring out that she was really hard to burp. I knew something was wrong because I'd put her down to sleep and she'd wake up a couple hours later, obviously in pain. I couldn't figure it out because I'd feed and burp her beforehand. It didn't occur to me that there might by babies who are so hard to burp. The pediatrician told me she was just fussy. I knew that wasn't the answer. Finally, my mom came out to help, and figured it out. She also noticed that, in addition to having to spend a lot of extra time burping her, I'm too short to use my nursing pillow. Instead, she had to be fed sitting straight up. It's a little tricky to nurse her like that, but it has helped immensely. It also helped to keep her upright for a while after feeding her because she also has reflux. We are currently investigating the possibility of a food sensitivity. I suspect dairy upsets her, but we'll see. All of those things were discovered by painful trial and error - and through my mom's vast experience. The frustrating part was that I am NOT new to kids by any stretch, and even attended all the pre-baby classes. I called on my pediatrician for help, and not once did anyone mention the possibility of a kid being hard to burp or show you how to nurse a kid sitting up (although they have you practice all the other positions and make such a big deal about using your pillow in the "right" positions). Poor pumpkin! I feel bad that it took so long to figure those things out.
But wait! There's more! Figuring those problems out have helped some of her physical discomforts. However, there's also a personality component to her that is a little challenging. It's hard to explain, but she falls into the category of "high needs." She's super intense, is often hard to put down, doesn't enjoy cuddling, is not a great self-soother, is resistent to schedules and going to anyone else but mom, and is hyperactive in the sense that she is always tense and ready to go, and when she wants to kick - the speed and force is amazing. Really, in a nutshell, she's really hypersensitive. She startles easily, her moods change on a dime and if you don't respond to her she ramps up super fast. While I'm not complaining, I do admit to being slightly jealous when I see moms pushing their complacent kiddies in their stroller with such apparent freedom, or seeing young babies entertain themselves. My kid will do that, but only for short periods of time before she needs new stimuli. I would be concerned that somehow my behavior influences hers, but she genuinely gets angry at the little purple bear on her bouncy seat or the pineapple on her playmat. This is when I know it's time to take her out of the situation and soothe her a bit.
To be fair to her, she does try to communicate her needs - and I am getting better at understanding her. It just happens to be all about paying close attention to her and timing things just right so she doesn't have a melt down. She also has her "mellow" moments in which I can actually put her in the stroller and go out. And, she sometimes has good nights in which she sleeps for large chunks of time.
So, basically, I've spent my pregnancy learning about sleep training, the importance of schedules and lots of other goodies about parenting - most of which have gone (almost) out the window as I'm forcefully reminded that all kids are different and require parenting styles suited to their individuality.
You know how it is - you never intend to actually watch something like the Miss Universe contest, but if you happen to run into it during the inevitable channel flipping, it's the train wreck you can't help but watch.
We came in at the final 10 stage and at the risk of sounding like an ignorant American - I was initially struck by how similar they all looked. All dark haired beauties with similar eyes and cheekbones. Look here to see how they even do their "sexy kitten" look the same.
The final 10 got to do the evening gown competition, and my all-time favorite moment was when Miss USA fell on her ass. (My second favorite was when Miss Tanzania totally grabbed her boob because she thought that just because she was off the stage she'd also be off camera) Those of you who know me would know that I'd be lying if I said I didn't laugh. I'd like to say that I'm not normally so cruel, but that too would be a lie. However, I can say that I took a little extra delight in seeing Miss USA fall because she insists on linking her identity to a month (out of her entire life) she spent volunteering for Oprah Winfrey's Leadership Academy. That's great and all, but stand on your own. In the roughly 30 minutes I watched, it was mentioned 3 times! After she made it into the final 5 (shocking since she fell moments before), the judge asked her what moment she could live over and why. There it came again. Yes, I'm sure it really was that magical. Personally, I'd relive the whole walking down the runway thing. I do feel a little bad because she was getting boo-ed when she was picked for the final 5. I share the crowd's sentiment, but that's a little much.
I was happy to see Miss Japan win. I really liked her dress and it seemed like she had a sparkly personality.
Lots of good stuff.
An attorney in our office got a "baby killer" off after the medical examiner changed the cause of death on the certificate after the mentally ill defendant confessed. Here's the story:
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/lake/chi-0705021311may03,1,4757531.story?ctrack=2&cset=true
And, news flash, Russian women are apparently superior in their ability to snag western men. According to the instructor in a "college" that teaches Russian women how to unleash their inner femme fatale, women need to learn how to use their body to give men what they want and also need to "know their place." Lessons include: how to take 10 seconds to unbutton each button in your blouse while cocking your head at a 15 degree angle, how to master the strip tease, and how to say "of course you are right, I will do anything you say" - with a straight face.
I am very excited about the upcoming elections. It's going to be so interesting seeing history in the making. For the first time, the country will consider whether it wants an African-American, a woman, or a Mormon. There are going to be some interesting issues. In fact, I'm hoping for some good candid discussion.
I'm already a little disappointed in Obama. He was on 60 minutes this weekend, and while many of his points totally matched my own views, he was inconsistent on a point that really bothered and ultimately disappointed me. One minute he and his wife were talking about how, as a black man, he can get shot on the south-side at any time, and how he can't get a cab because no one will pick up a black man. Then, when asked if he thought race would be an issue in the election, he said no and if he loses it won't have anything to do with race. C'mon, if race is a factor in deciding not to pick you up in their cab, how can you expect race not to be an issue in voting for President? Too simple. I felt that all his answers were good answers in isolation but didn't send a cohesive message.
On my final full day in Cali, my parents and I went to the de Young museum. It's in a new building, built specifically for the the museum. The building is really interesting and it's sheathed in copper and brass. It's also in the Golden Gate Park, which is always nice to visit - down the street from the bison! The de Young has a fabulous collection of art and artifacts from the Americas. It was really a nice museum. It had a very shi-shi cafe that overlooks the sculpture garden and park with really good (although expensive) egg salad and portabello mushroom sandwiches, and the museum is deceptively big. Once again I'm impressed by how nicely American museums are laid out. With the possible exception of a Picasso museum in Paris and the Munch museum in Oslo, I'm not impressed with the lay-out of European art museums. Their technique seems to be to just put as much up on the walls as possible. I like when museums have interesting placement of furniture and paintings. For example, at the de Young, we were looking at the paintings from American artists and in several places they had placed two paintings depicting the same type of subject matter, that looked like they were painted with similar color palettes and techniques, but they were from different artists. It was interesting to compare the similarities and differences close up.
The museum now know why the tops of the chair looks like it does, and how long it took to bend the rosewood table.
Fun facts: the sideboard has a place for liquor, silverware, and a chamber pot! The guy in the far right of the painting looks exactly like our tour guide at Belle Meade Plantation in Nashville. 
Tell me the first one doesn't look like a Klingon betleH. The next is a spirit suit, and the final is a form that the spirit of your evil ancestor can be tricked into inhabiting instead of haunting you.
Two of the bordello sites
The old state capitol building
The outhouse next to the capitol. It's a double seater!
Some of the original buildings. The last one is now a tea house.I got my decision on the last case I argued. Murder conviction overturned! It's a published decision, which is great, and I made good law on an issue of law that hasn't been expressly held before. They only reached 2 out of the 7 issues they could have overturned on, but they were the two issues I argued at oral argument. Some of the things they say sound like they come right from my briefs too. I can't tell you how hard I worked on this case and how excited I am to have this under my belt! It's also a drop in the bucket toward restoring my faith in the system. A lot of things went wrong in this trial and I'm glad two problems were recognized.
I went to my interview. It was a little odd. More hypotheticals and they also wanted to know what each of my siblings and parents did for a living. (?) Once again, who knows how I did. Lots of ethical and evidentiary issues. I don't know if they appreciated my answers, but I was happy with them. I had to do a closing argument on the spur of the moment on a retail theft case. That could've been a little more dramatic but then again, when would that type of closing argument be spectacular? Anyway, I'll know in a couple of weeks.
I made an unplanned stop at work on my way home from the airport. It just popped in my head to do it even though I'd only been out of the office for 3 days - not long enough for anything urgent to come in. Anyway, it struck me that even though I get annoyed at the people and sometimes I get a boring case, I have a kickin' office in a major city and I'm doing interesting felony cases. If I took this job, I'd be in the courtroom more which would have its own charm, but I'd be doing misdemeanors. In a lot of ways, it'd be like starting over in my career. I don't know if I'm interested in that at this point. So, the upshot is that I don't expect an offer, but I'm not really sure I'd want it anyway..... It's a shame because I've been trying to go home for 10 years now, but I'm just now sure this would be the best way to do it.
I was in the elevator today and pressed my floor. The other person, a man, in the elevator says to me, "Oh, that's the highest you can go." I said, "yep." We stopped on another floor and another woman got in. The man says Hi to her and she greeted him back. He then says, "Oh, so people in the Midwest DO talk" and he looks very pointedly at me. He then claimed that Midwesterners aren't as friendly as people from Oklahoma. Apparently Oklahomans can also actually have a full conversation about how high someone is going in the elevator.
I thought that something in the "upgrade" to the new version of blogger was making my comments disabled and that it would resolve itself. Ha.
I haven't been able to check my code and locate the problem - or if there is one. In the meantime, I have changed my template and the new one seems to allow for comments.
Now Simba's mom can yell at me for rooting for the Saints!
Well, in a couple of days, I'm off to go home and interview with the prosecutor's office. Should be interesting at the very least. I'll keep you posted.
I've been trying to think of what I miss most so I can make sure I do it. I actually miss all the little independent coffee shops. I don't drink coffee, but I miss the non-Starbucks options for places to hang out. I have a secret dream to open my own one day (I'm not sure where on the list that is in comparison to my secret dream to have a hobby farm) and they have good models back home.
I hope to get a book for the trip out, North to the Orient by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. Maybe I can get it from the library before I go.
I'm not a huge sports fan, but I did watch most of the two playoff games today. To show you how not a sports fan I am - even when it would be very exciting to see the home team go to the Super Bowl, I always have to root for the underdog. I figure since Cowboy was rooting for the Bears, I can even out the universe by rooting for the Saints. After all, what a year they've had! Watching the Colts game - I rooted for them too; partly because it would be cool to battle it out with a neighbor state, but more because they were really not the favorites to win. What completely different games. I have to say, the Colts game was more fun to watch - even down to seeing the coach of the Patriots grumble at losing (what a sore loser). Probably for the first time ever, I'm actually looking forward to, and will watch, the Super Bowl.
I've elected myself a mentor. He is an attorney in my office who is ALWAYS excited about his cases and always seems to go the extra mile on behalf of his clients. Plus, he actually seems like a decent person. This kind of attorney is hard to come by in general, much less in a person who is not really your friend but is just someone you admire and can learn from. Of course, I'm probably dragging him down by associating him with me - while my mind painfully grinds its gears in figuring out the basics of d.u.i. law (hey, there IS a lot to cross-reference for a misdemeanor), he is debating whether to go up on a mandamus in a case involving judicial misconduct on top of police torture. I've decided to seek him out whenever I think Justice needs a good kick in the pants.
So, the results of my examination came back - they actually tell you what your score is and the number you ranked on the list. It's a little odd. I now have to decide whether to fly out for an interview. I get to combine it with a trip home, so that's not bad....
New things I tried this week: Forrest Yoga, which kicked my butt, and the Green Eggs and Ham at Kitsch'n. Hello Kitty had the fried chicken and waffles - they do go surprisingly well together, and Cowboy had the coconut crusted french toast - the only french toast I've ever enjoyed. All in all, yum, yum, yum!
