Yummy!

We've started solids!

Bend over and let one rip!

Spirited and I finished our first Kindermusik class this summer. There's a point in the class that's quiet time - where you are supposedly teaching the kids how to rest. The teacher puts on this relaxing flute music and everyone quiets down by rocking or laying on the floor. Somehow I always end up whistling, but I digress...Spirited and I were hanging out and she was practicing sitting (one of her new favorite things to do). All of a sudden she lets one rip! The teacher looks over at me and sweetly asks, "do you have gas?" I wasn't sure who she was asking - me or Spirited. To be fair, it was loud, long, and didn't smell pretty - an adult size emission. Perhaps because of this, I wanted to distance myself from any notions that I owned that glorious fart. I quietly said, "yeah, she does." Then, because she already has my back, Spirited leaned over, kind of grunted, and let another one rip. This was starting to draw attention. I cheerfully said, "excuse us" and tried to act natural. She let one more out before the flutes were done, and I just smiled it away.

target on our backs

Recently we were in the bookstore with Spirited, who was asleep in the stroller and being watched by Cowboy. After a few minutes of browsing in an area away from them, I heard her cry. After she cried for a little bit, I started back towards them to see if I could help. There was a man standing there jingling his keys in front of her face. He seemed very nice. I took over and let Cowboy browse.
As we were walking home, Spirited started crying again. As we stopped to soothe her, Cowboy said sarcastically, "if only someone was here to tell us what to do!" (Apparently, he has been feeling harassed by well-meaning people who have offered their unsolicited advice on how to handle a baby.)
The funny thing is that men (for good or bad) seem to get advice with an attitude of "poor dear, he doesn't know any better" to go with it. Women seem to get it with a more judgmental attitude. At the same time, women can be incredibly supportive, and other parents often offer conspiratorial smiles. It's interesting how carting a child around opens you up to conversations you aren't expecting with people you wouldn't normally talk to. It's a good equalizer.

Hey, fake legs are expensive!

While out for a stroll the other day, we saw a guy directing a driver into a parking spot. The unusual part about this story is that the guy who was directing the driver was IN the empty space, sitting on the car that was behind the car backing in. We watched as the director kept telling the driver to come back. We grew more and more anxious as the car followed his direction to close the gap between the back bumper and the director's knee. As we feared, the car soon smashed the man's knee between the bumper and the other car. Before we could muster a proper response, the director looked over at us, smiled, and gave us a wink.

Awesome

Spirited is so awesome, I can't even handle it. She kicks most of the time she's awake and I love her energy. When I hear the drumbeat of her little heels pounding against her crib mattress, she greets me with a giant smile that just melts my heart. We do yoga and I give her massages, and whenever I put her on the floor she gets all excited because she knows what's coming. The feet start flying and her eyes light up. It's absolutely the best!

Life as usual

According to my pediatrician, there are two time lines for fussiness where babies can become extra gassy and bothered by reflux. Most babies are done with it by 12 weeks, others take until about 16 weeks for things to get better. Spirited is in the latter group. I still have to nurse her sitting up, but that's becoming easier as she has better trunk stability. She also has some food sensitivities I have to be careful with, or the problems start up again. I can have very limited dairy, caffeine and chocolate. I now long for a big ol' piece of chocolate cake with lots of chocolate frosting and a giant glass of whole milk!
Now that she's sort of stabilized in terms of fussiness, it's a lot easier to do things that I need/want to do. I just have to modify it to fit her schedule. I still work on putting her to sleep within 2 hours of being awake, so my trips outside of the house have to be carefully planned. She often rejects the stroller, so I put her in my MobyWrap (can't say enough good things about this wrap!!) and we cruise. I strap her to my body like a little bomb - facing out with her legs dangling. We walk down the street and she looks at everything while she kicks away. She looks hilarious. We are quite the spectacle - especially when I break out the umbrella to avoid the sun. But perhaps the biggest indication that things have gotten smoother is that I've started running again. I'm in week 4 of the Couch to 5-K program. I mostly have to go when she's already asleep, but it works!

Soothing 101

In 12 years - when I have my next kid - I will have forgotten the bizillion soothing techniques I have learned over the past 3 months. To my future self (and anyone else who needs ideas), here are the ones that never fail:
1) the milkshake. Put one hand on baby's butt, between the legs, and the other hand either under her chin or (if she has good head control) holding her by the chest and arms. Then move the kid up and down at an angle like you are doing an old-fashioned milkshake. The arms and legs should swing freely.
2) the shower. The noise and the steam is usually an instant success. If not, add milkshake or gentle bouncing on an exercise ball.
3) bouncing on an exercise ball. You can use this for a modified milkshake if your arms get tired - put the kid in position and bounce to propel her forward. When she is more calm you can bring her down and, keeping your hand under her chin, gently wobble her head using very small movements. When she's bigger, it also works to cradle her in her arms and bounce up and down - letting her head wobble back and forth very slightly.
3) Shhh. The repeated "Shh." seems to work pretty well - another white noise thing. Spirited likes when the Shh is drawn out.

The whole goal is to recreate womb conditions and the white noise and the gentle wobbles seem to do the trick. (People do call the first 3 months the 4th trimester.) Add sucking to the mix and you've got a winning combination.

I'm back, baby!

For several days, Spirited has been fighting sleep. She even fights going into the stroller because she knows it will lull her to sleep. Needless to say, this has made for a very tired mommy. I honestly didn't know what to do. I was watching her for signs that she was tired and would start soothing her and getting her ready to sleep within 2 hours of her last waking. Whenever I'd put her in my soothing position, she'd lock up and throw a fit. I just spent the last 3 months learning various soothing techniques and now none of them were working!
Because she fought through her afternoon nap, we had to put her to bed early. The past couple of nights, she went to bed at 6:30 and 5:30! Last night I took a nap not long after she went down and it made such a difference. Both of us woke up much happier. Today, I decided that I'd start to soothe her and try and get her to sleep much earlier. So far, I've been getting her ready for bed about 1 hour and 15 min after she wakes up. It's so short, but she hasn't been fighting it nearly as much and has gone down 4 times already.

Spirited?

Even though "high needs" is the technical term, I don't really like it and I've been feeling bad about calling my kid that. It sounds negative and resentful. This is so not the case. We'll call her "spirited." This is really more accurate. All babies have the same needs - some just need certain things more and express them louder. That is my kid.
I subscribe to the theory that if you meet these needs now, she will be a more satisfied adult. As a result, we are practicing a form of attached parenting, while trying to wean her on playing independently and going to other people. Every day we are making small steps forward. Today she was able to play on the floor while I washed dishes for 10 min!

"High Needs" Baby

I would have thought that this was a term used by people who were unrealistic in their expectations of babies....until I had one. Even before my daughter was born I knew we were in for a treat. The kid rarely stopped kicking. Once she was born, there was something different about her - and she was still kicking!
Part of figuring her out involved figuring out that she was really hard to burp. I knew something was wrong because I'd put her down to sleep and she'd wake up a couple hours later, obviously in pain. I couldn't figure it out because I'd feed and burp her beforehand. It didn't occur to me that there might by babies who are so hard to burp. The pediatrician told me she was just fussy. I knew that wasn't the answer. Finally, my mom came out to help, and figured it out. She also noticed that, in addition to having to spend a lot of extra time burping her, I'm too short to use my nursing pillow. Instead, she had to be fed sitting straight up. It's a little tricky to nurse her like that, but it has helped immensely. It also helped to keep her upright for a while after feeding her because she also has reflux. We are currently investigating the possibility of a food sensitivity. I suspect dairy upsets her, but we'll see. All of those things were discovered by painful trial and error - and through my mom's vast experience. The frustrating part was that I am NOT new to kids by any stretch, and even attended all the pre-baby classes. I called on my pediatrician for help, and not once did anyone mention the possibility of a kid being hard to burp or show you how to nurse a kid sitting up (although they have you practice all the other positions and make such a big deal about using your pillow in the "right" positions). Poor pumpkin! I feel bad that it took so long to figure those things out.
But wait! There's more! Figuring those problems out have helped some of her physical discomforts. However, there's also a personality component to her that is a little challenging. It's hard to explain, but she falls into the category of "high needs." She's super intense, is often hard to put down, doesn't enjoy cuddling, is not a great self-soother, is resistent to schedules and going to anyone else but mom, and is hyperactive in the sense that she is always tense and ready to go, and when she wants to kick - the speed and force is amazing. Really, in a nutshell, she's really hypersensitive. She startles easily, her moods change on a dime and if you don't respond to her she ramps up super fast. While I'm not complaining, I do admit to being slightly jealous when I see moms pushing their complacent kiddies in their stroller with such apparent freedom, or seeing young babies entertain themselves. My kid will do that, but only for short periods of time before she needs new stimuli. I would be concerned that somehow my behavior influences hers, but she genuinely gets angry at the little purple bear on her bouncy seat or the pineapple on her playmat. This is when I know it's time to take her out of the situation and soothe her a bit.
To be fair to her, she does try to communicate her needs - and I am getting better at understanding her. It just happens to be all about paying close attention to her and timing things just right so she doesn't have a melt down. She also has her "mellow" moments in which I can actually put her in the stroller and go out. And, she sometimes has good nights in which she sleeps for large chunks of time.
So, basically, I've spent my pregnancy learning about sleep training, the importance of schedules and lots of other goodies about parenting - most of which have gone (almost) out the window as I'm forcefully reminded that all kids are different and require parenting styles suited to their individuality.

Miss Universe

You know how it is - you never intend to actually watch something like the Miss Universe contest, but if you happen to run into it during the inevitable channel flipping, it's the train wreck you can't help but watch.
We came in at the final 10 stage and at the risk of sounding like an ignorant American - I was initially struck by how similar they all looked. All dark haired beauties with similar eyes and cheekbones. Look here to see how they even do their "sexy kitten" look the same.
The final 10 got to do the evening gown competition, and my all-time favorite moment was when Miss USA fell on her ass. (My second favorite was when Miss Tanzania totally grabbed her boob because she thought that just because she was off the stage she'd also be off camera) Those of you who know me would know that I'd be lying if I said I didn't laugh. I'd like to say that I'm not normally so cruel, but that too would be a lie. However, I can say that I took a little extra delight in seeing Miss USA fall because she insists on linking her identity to a month (out of her entire life) she spent volunteering for Oprah Winfrey's Leadership Academy. That's great and all, but stand on your own. In the roughly 30 minutes I watched, it was mentioned 3 times! After she made it into the final 5 (shocking since she fell moments before), the judge asked her what moment she could live over and why. There it came again. Yes, I'm sure it really was that magical. Personally, I'd relive the whole walking down the runway thing. I do feel a little bad because she was getting boo-ed when she was picked for the final 5. I share the crowd's sentiment, but that's a little much.
I was happy to see Miss Japan win. I really liked her dress and it seemed like she had a sparkly personality.

News briefs

Lots of good stuff.
An attorney in our office got a "baby killer" off after the medical examiner changed the cause of death on the certificate after the mentally ill defendant confessed. Here's the story:
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/lake/chi-0705021311may03,1,4757531.story?ctrack=2&cset=true

And, news flash, Russian women are apparently superior in their ability to snag western men. According to the instructor in a "college" that teaches Russian women how to unleash their inner femme fatale, women need to learn how to use their body to give men what they want and also need to "know their place." Lessons include: how to take 10 seconds to unbutton each button in your blouse while cocking your head at a 15 degree angle, how to master the strip tease, and how to say "of course you are right, I will do anything you say" - with a straight face.

2008 Elections

I am very excited about the upcoming elections. It's going to be so interesting seeing history in the making. For the first time, the country will consider whether it wants an African-American, a woman, or a Mormon. There are going to be some interesting issues. In fact, I'm hoping for some good candid discussion.
I'm already a little disappointed in Obama. He was on 60 minutes this weekend, and while many of his points totally matched my own views, he was inconsistent on a point that really bothered and ultimately disappointed me. One minute he and his wife were talking about how, as a black man, he can get shot on the south-side at any time, and how he can't get a cab because no one will pick up a black man. Then, when asked if he thought race would be an issue in the election, he said no and if he loses it won't have anything to do with race. C'mon, if race is a factor in deciding not to pick you up in their cab, how can you expect race not to be an issue in voting for President? Too simple. I felt that all his answers were good answers in isolation but didn't send a cohesive message.

de Young

On my final full day in Cali, my parents and I went to the de Young museum. It's in a new building, built specifically for the the museum. The building is really interesting and it's sheathed in copper and brass. It's also in the Golden Gate Park, which is always nice to visit - down the street from the bison! The de Young has a fabulous collection of art and artifacts from the Americas. It was really a nice museum. It had a very shi-shi cafe that overlooks the sculpture garden and park with really good (although expensive) egg salad and portabello mushroom sandwiches, and the museum is deceptively big. Once again I'm impressed by how nicely American museums are laid out. With the possible exception of a Picasso museum in Paris and the Munch museum in Oslo, I'm not impressed with the lay-out of European art museums. Their technique seems to be to just put as much up on the walls as possible. I like when museums have interesting placement of furniture and paintings. For example, at the de Young, we were looking at the paintings from American artists and in several places they had placed two paintings depicting the same type of subject matter, that looked like they were painted with similar color palettes and techniques, but they were from different artists. It was interesting to compare the similarities and differences close up.

The funny thing is that my dad didn't really want to go at first. Good thing he did, he helped solve a couple of mysteries for the tour guide who was leading the decorative arts tour.

The museum now know why the tops of the chair looks like it does, and how long it took to bend the rosewood table.

Fun facts: the sideboard has a place for liquor, silverware, and a chamber pot! The guy in the far right of the painting looks exactly like our tour guide at Belle Meade Plantation in Nashville.

Tell me the first one doesn't look like a Klingon betleH. The next is a spirit suit, and the final is a form that the spirit of your evil ancestor can be tricked into inhabiting instead of haunting you.

Superbowl down

Chicago was so hopeful for a good superbowl outcome. We all know how that turned out. The next day was full of criticism for Rex Grossman and the Bears in general. This struck me as kind of funny given the whole "Christian Coach" thing at the game. Apparently, that sentiment ends there. Okay, yeah the Bears didn't pull through, but let's give them some credit for getting there, and for stopping the Colts from scoring more than they did. You have to admit that the Colts played a good game. Their defense was always there on our guys!

Benicia, CA - the capitol on wheels

Obviously it wasn't all work when I went home for the interview. My parents actually took time off (in our travels we discussed how many days vacation time they each had - unbelievable) and took some trips. After my interview we went to Benicia. Benicia is a cute little town on a bay in the bay area. It's east of San Francisco Bay on the Carquinez Strait. Benicia has an interesting history - full of politicians, bordellos and a serial killer. Going in reverse chronological order, the Zodiac Killer made his debut near Benicia. For those of you who don't know, the Zodiac Killer "hung out" in California - seemingly favoring Northern California. He wasn't active when I was in high school, but that was where I first heard of him. It was reported that he killed young teenagers while out on a date. In fact, his first victims were two kids out on their first date - one of them a first date ever.

In Benicia's more ancient history, Benicia was founded in 1847 and is the first city in California to be settled by Anglo-Americans (as opposed to Spanish missions, forts or trading posts). For 13 months from 1853-4, Benicia served as the third state capitol. It was one of the four locations known as the "Capitol on wheels." It is the only pre-Sacramento site to survive. This was also during the rough and tumble gold rush days, so literally right down the street from the capitol, "entertainment" abounded. You can pick up a pamphlet from the historic train station (pictured above) and go on a walking tour. The main street isn't that long, and boasts two surviving buildings that used to be bordellos, two additional hotels (one of them said to be haunted by Disappointed Mary), and lots of old bars - one of which was later frequented by Jack London. (Jack London worked on the Fish Patrol and wrote "Tales of the Fish Patrol" and "John Barleycorn" there.) After much lobbying (by the wives of the legislators), the capitol moved to a more refined location at Sacramento.

One more additional note: in the 1850's and 60's, the US military decided on a new pack animal - the camel. The Camel Barns housed 77 camels for the purpose. When the Civil War broke out - they dropped the project. As far as I know, they let the camels go, and years later they were still finding camels in remote areas.

Two of the bordello sitesThe old state capitol buildingThe outhouse next to the capitol. It's a double seater!Some of the original buildings. The last one is now a tea house.

I bet misdemeanor convictions don't feel this good

I got my decision on the last case I argued. Murder conviction overturned! It's a published decision, which is great, and I made good law on an issue of law that hasn't been expressly held before. They only reached 2 out of the 7 issues they could have overturned on, but they were the two issues I argued at oral argument. Some of the things they say sound like they come right from my briefs too. I can't tell you how hard I worked on this case and how excited I am to have this under my belt! It's also a drop in the bucket toward restoring my faith in the system. A lot of things went wrong in this trial and I'm glad two problems were recognized.

Do I really want to start all over?

I went to my interview. It was a little odd. More hypotheticals and they also wanted to know what each of my siblings and parents did for a living. (?) Once again, who knows how I did. Lots of ethical and evidentiary issues. I don't know if they appreciated my answers, but I was happy with them. I had to do a closing argument on the spur of the moment on a retail theft case. That could've been a little more dramatic but then again, when would that type of closing argument be spectacular? Anyway, I'll know in a couple of weeks.
I made an unplanned stop at work on my way home from the airport. It just popped in my head to do it even though I'd only been out of the office for 3 days - not long enough for anything urgent to come in. Anyway, it struck me that even though I get annoyed at the people and sometimes I get a boring case, I have a kickin' office in a major city and I'm doing interesting felony cases. If I took this job, I'd be in the courtroom more which would have its own charm, but I'd be doing misdemeanors. In a lot of ways, it'd be like starting over in my career. I don't know if I'm interested in that at this point. So, the upshot is that I don't expect an offer, but I'm not really sure I'd want it anyway..... It's a shame because I've been trying to go home for 10 years now, but I'm just now sure this would be the best way to do it.

midwesterners do talk

I was in the elevator today and pressed my floor. The other person, a man, in the elevator says to me, "Oh, that's the highest you can go." I said, "yep." We stopped on another floor and another woman got in. The man says Hi to her and she greeted him back. He then says, "Oh, so people in the Midwest DO talk" and he looks very pointedly at me. He then claimed that Midwesterners aren't as friendly as people from Oklahoma. Apparently Oklahomans can also actually have a full conversation about how high someone is going in the elevator.

Comment away!

I thought that something in the "upgrade" to the new version of blogger was making my comments disabled and that it would resolve itself. Ha.
I haven't been able to check my code and locate the problem - or if there is one. In the meantime, I have changed my template and the new one seems to allow for comments.
Now Simba's mom can yell at me for rooting for the Saints!